A Reader disagrees with us. Supports Bramnick & Cryan on S-3330

Editor's Note: Our readers often write to us in support or opposition to what we’ve posted and we always offer them the opportunity of having their words published either under their own name or anonymously. This gentleman chose the latter, which is his right, anonymous speech being a most American form of free speech. Please take a moment to read this thoughtful argument against our position.

Hello Rubashov,

I came across your thought piece on NJ Senate Bill S-3330, a bill which would institute grief education as part of standard public-school curriculum. It evoked a strong response from me, and I wanted to reply.

I am concerned that you have misunderstood the purpose of this bill, and I implore you to reconsider, and write a retraction to your piece. Your article indicates that you associate this bill with the Woke far left, with a Late-Stage Capitalistic society where businesses influence politicians to craft favorable legislation for them. Rubashov, that is simply not the case here.

S-3330 is not taking any power away from parents, nor is it in any way crafted to pump funds into private organizations – and the regional grief organizations that offer largely free services are not the political boogeymen you paint them as. Rather, what S-3330 does is address an incredibly critical need that currently exists in NJ – which is providing education, support, and resources for grieving kids.

There are more than 144,000 children in NJ that have experienced the death of a sibling or parent before age 18. 70% of teachers have at least one kid in their class who experienced a major death in their life over the past year. Furthermore, a full 60% of kids will experience at least one Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE), such as mental or physical illness, abuse, neglect, and divorce. When kids are grieving the death of someone close to them, or another major loss in their life, their ability to learn and engage with academic subjects is severely stunted. It is incumbent on us, their parents, educators, and community members, to give them the resources they need in order to be academically successful, and to help mitigate their risks for delinquency, substance abuse, incarceration, mental illness and death that come with traumatic grief experiences.

Before I go on to explain why this Bipartisan bill proposed by Senators Bramnick and Cryan actually reflects core Conservative values, I want to explain why I am so personally invested:

I have lived all my life in NJ and have paid hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxes to the state of NJ in my time. I think it is fair to say I represent a core NJ constituent, voter, and taxpayer. When I was 7 years old my dad had to leave his job due to a crippling disability, Early Onset Parkinson’s Disease. Our family was devastated both emotionally and financially, without health insurance (save for him thank goodness).

Our support networks collapsed as our family struggled, our extended family separated, and friends and community were not there. We found ourselves alone and isolated. Unable to communicate or support each other – either because we were lashing out from our trauma or trying to be strong and not show our pain to one another. We needed help that was not available. I, a grieving child, needed help, resources, and support.

My mother received a Breast Cancer diagnosis, but since we did not have health insurance, she was compelled to not pursue the more aggressive treatments and did not get follow-up mammograms. A few years later she was diagnosed with stage 4 Breast Cancer that had metastasized through her brain and other organs. I was her caretaker for the next year and a half until her death. My father followed her 6 years later. 
 
Watching both of my parents die slowly in front of me was extremely traumatic, as was the isolation and lack of support I felt. This experience negatively impacted my ability to be successful in High School, took a huge toll on my mental health, and left me needing years of intervention to get my life back on track. No child or family should have to suffer alone as mine did, and yet so many do. I write to you as their advocate.

It is possible for us to directly help grieving kids and families. The Mayo Clinic tells us that grief (which it defines as any significant loss) can lead to Depression, Anxiety/PTSD, increased risk of illness including cancer, substance misuse, and suicidal thoughts or behaviors. The Mayo Clinic prescribes the following for processing grief: talking to others, understanding why someone is suffering, and trying to resolve issues causing severe emotional pain. Support and talking are two of the key treatments that the Mayo clinic recommends for grief. These recommendations from the Mayo Clinic are captured in S-3330.

Thus far, I have shared the personal feelings of a NJ constituent, taxpayer, and griever. I have shared the medical community’s views on grief. And both come out heavily in favor of providing more support and resources for grieving kids, as S-3330 does. But I want to go a step further and show that the most Conservative Republican values do, in fact, also firmly support this initiative.

I noticed on your website that you have a great deal of admiration for Ronald Reagan. Reagan had a simple quote that can help us know his thoughts on providing additional support to grieving kids and families:

“Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men face.”

Perhaps the most iconic Conservative directs us to the Bible to guide our actions. Well, let’s see what the bible has to say on the subject of grief:

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” – Matthew 5:4

“Blessed be [The Father] who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

“Brothers and sisters, we want you to know about people who have died so that you won't mourn like others who don’t have any hope” – 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

The Bible promotes all efforts to support grieving people and to expose ourselves to grief, so that we may know it better. And so, from every angle, the bill proposed by Senators Bramnick and Cryan addresses the needs of the community, in-line with medical guidance and in congruence with core Conservative values.

I close by telling you that as a lifelong NJ resident who has grieved as a child, a teen, and an adult all in the state of NJ, that I needed support that I did not get. And as a taxpayer I am more than happy to have my dollars go to making sure other kids and families do have the resources, skills, and support that they need to manage their grief. And that teachers and administrators have the training and techniques they need to support our kids.

I know firsthand how much grief can inhibit everything in a person’s life, including learning and academic success. And so, I urge you to reconsider your initial impression of S-3330 and retract your previous piece. There is no room for a political lens when it comes to helping those in our community who are grieving. I was proud to see a Bipartisan bill that did not see partisan differences, but only a common need. I encourage you to cast aside your own political agenda for a moment in order to be part of a meaningful solution to a tremendous societal ill. We must all be part of helping kids and families who have suffered loss, and not turn our backs on the hundreds of thousands of grievers in NJ.

Most Truly Yours,

Anonymous Helping Hand

President Reagan dealing with a moment of national loss.
 

“Voters can’t make informed decisions unless they’re informed.  If you asked any self-respecting constituent of George Santos, they’d tell you they wish they knew then what they know now.”
 
Micah Rasmussen
Director of the Rebovich Institute of New Jersey Politics at Rider University

"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear."

George Orwell

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