Penis. It is a perfectly good word to describe a well-known part of the male anatomy. Nevertheless, eyebrows were raised when New Jersey's own Steve Lonegan used the word on CNN yesterday. The newscaster evidently thought the word "obscene" or "dirty" because she accused him of going "crazy" and promptly gave him a maternal "time out".
Is there a better word for it than "penis"? Perhaps wee-wee? How about tally whacker? Or schlong? There's todger and wang to consider too. And what about that good old stand by... "private parts."
According to this website, there are 174 different words or phrases to use in place of "penis" -- enough to totally confuse everyone as to what you are referring to. After all, who knows what an "Adolph" is... or an "Albino Cave Dweller." Imagine the possibilities for confusion when someone refers to a bratwurst, burrito, or an eggroll... or even a candle? And what goes through your mind when someone speaks of "krull the warrior king" or of "Bob Dole"? Penis just might be the clearest word out there.
Maybe post-modern, millennial America is in penis denial mode? Senator Ray Lesniak certainly is. That goes for Assemblymen Tim Eustace and Reed Gusciora too. And Bruce Springsteen.
All of them support allowing adults with penises (what we, in a more humble age, referred to as men) into toilets and similar facilities formerly reserved for girls.
Can they not see the penis? Or do they simply refuse to see the penis? Are they in penis denial?
Lesniak, Eustace, and Gusciora have built an artifice of language around their penis denial. Those who see the penis are "deluded by hate." To see the penis is an act of "discrimination." Such discrimination must be acted against by the imposition of economic sanctions until such time that those who see the penis claim that they can no longer see it. This is called the Lesniak method of "corrective thinking" or the Eustace-Gusciora therapy towards "cognitive readjustment." Stare at it long enough, the latter tell their patients, and the penis will seem to disappear. And it works! Eustace and Gusciora have under their care some of the state's leading Republicans. Of course, other things tend to disappear as well... like the Bill of Rights... but some side effects are to be expected.
Ray Lesniak plans an exposition of these methods on Thursday, May 5th, at the Senate State Government, Wagering, Tourism & Historic Preservation Committee. The hearing starts at 1pm in Committee Room 7, on the 2nd Floor of the State House Annex in Trenton. Under Ray's hand and in combination with the therapy of "cognitive readjustment" he will attempt to make every penis appear to disappear . It will be a memorable exercise. We urge you to attend.