Congressional candidate Tom Malinowski sent out an email blast on Friday that began with the subject line, "the real national threat." After opening it, Malinowski made it clear that he considers us -- the American people -- the "real" threat.
Yes, we know. Sure, anyone who lived through September 11th knows that the real threat to our national security is the single-mom night manager at McDonalds who keeps a handgun because the police response times don't give her the edge she needs to stay un-raped or un-murdered in the lousy neighborhood she can afford to raise her family in. And she's a whole lot more threatening than those Russians with all those nukes or China with all our debt. Heck, she's what a state department boy like Tom Malinowski would call "an existential threat".
This was Tom Malinowski writing to the people he has deigned to represent: "I’ll keep this short—I’m getting ready to head down to Washington, DC for tomorrow’s March for our Lives, to stand with our students as they call for an end to violence in their schools and communities."
That's right. Tom Malinowski was heading back home -- to Washington, DC, where he's lived for nearly a decade, voted in elections, and where he owns his home and pays property taxes. He even gets a break on his property taxes for being a resident of Washington, DC. Of course, he would hop on a train and stand with the students in DC because... he knows their parents, they are his neighbors, they're the people he likes to hang with.
Malinowski then asks us to share a letter that he's signed with a bunch of DC insiders that calls on Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen and Attorney General Jeff Sessions to elevate the threat posed by our single-mom to first and foremost -- above that posed by North Korea, Russia, Iran, China, Hezbollah, Hamas, Al-Qaeda, and Islamic State. And speaking of Islamic State, these creatures who signed the letter with Tom Malinowski represent some of the bloodiest people in Washington.
Whether by design or by accident, many of Malinowski's fellow signers have caused the death or displacement of millions of people. There's the former Under Secretary of State for Whoops We Made a Mistake (and sorry, you died). The former Executive Secretary of Massive Screw-ups and Sorry about the Massacre. The former Deputy Under Secretary of Defense for Lack of Policies. And here's the former Special Representative for Taking His Eye Off the Ball (and whoops, here's ISIS!). The list goes on and on, but between them there is a whole lot of death and misery that they must be called to account for. Oh, business as usual in Washington, DC? Can't blame the white collar bosses, can we? Let's find some police, err.... soldiers to blame it on.
We're shocked that you didn't let Andy Kim sign the letter. What, too junior a screw-up? Wouldn't let him sign 'til his next birthday? We know he tried to horn in.
Tom Malinowski even called semi-automatic scary rifles "weapons of war" -- which indicates that Tommy has never been to war. Actual war. He might have helped plan it for others, but not for him. Being part of the club does have its privileges.
So people, here is how Tom Malinowski ended his missive to his district: "Before you head to a March in your own community, share our letter—and consider writing and publishing your own, in collaboration with members of your community."
Yes, my people, you "head to a March in your own community" like Jersey or some stuff like that. I'm going to my community. And while you're at it, why don't you collaborate with "members of your community"... not mine, yours. Because I know who I represent. It's all those DC moes on that letter.
Yes, Tom Malinowski is a callous knucklehead... but he's laughing at us, just the same.